Kelly- In regards to not spanking, I'd say the biggest factors are: 1. It seems contradictory to get on to Noah for hitting and then punish him by hitting him. I could see that being confusing for a child. 2. As I wrote, I don't want to hit him in anger. The ease with which that could happen scares me. 3. I don't want him to be scared of me. Respect, yes, but fear?
I know that when we first got pregnant, there were many things that I just assumed we would do because either I grew up doing them or that's what everyone else did. It amazed me (and I'm so thankful for it) when Charles suggested that we research things and make decisions based on what we feel is best for our family (things like circumcision, vaccines, spanking, breastfeeding, etc.). Does that help?
Keely, Yes, that helps. Thanks for answering! I definitely agree that it's wise to re-think the way you do things (and not just do them b/c they're part of our assumptions!). That would be a mess, for sure. (I think it's part of renewing our minds, like Paul talks about in Romans.) I'd like to hear more about how you think this lines up with your worldview, also (i.e. how does what you think come from the Bible and biblical principles). If you have the time, leave another comment or email me!
I'll post this at your blog, too.
Rosalita, Hi there! I know - she's a little, feminine Aaron! I'll have to check your blog - can you email me the address again?
Kelly- I appreciate you asking these questions. It's been helpful and rewarding for us to rethink why we do what we do and make sure it lines up with Scripture, and not just a book that we read and agreed with (which is The Discipline Book, by Dr. Sears).
While scripture doesn't talk about spanking, Proverbs is riddled with verses about discipline and correction. The rod of which it speaks seems to me to be referring to a rod of discipline and correction, not a literal rod which is used to hit a child. Scripture says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of discipline will drive it from him; the rod of discipline will save a child from Sheol. Important stuff. If our jobs as parents are to lead our children in the way they should go and to preach and model the gospel to them, discpline is an important way to do such.
With Noah, we are trying to set up a model of discipline which involves sorrow over sin, repentance, forgiveness and acceptance. We do time-outs (1 minute for every year of age). After a warning, he has to sit alone for one minute. We explain to him what he did wrong and why he's being punished. After a minute, we ask him to come to us and apologize, remind him to listen and obey, forgive him, hug and kiss him and tell him we love him. He's picking up on it quickly and even says I love you as soon as we make him sit down (clever, no?).
4 comments:
Kelly-
In regards to not spanking, I'd say the biggest factors are:
1. It seems contradictory to get on to Noah for hitting and then punish him by hitting him. I could see that being confusing for a child.
2. As I wrote, I don't want to hit him in anger. The ease with which that could happen scares me.
3. I don't want him to be scared of me. Respect, yes, but fear?
I know that when we first got pregnant, there were many things that I just assumed we would do because either I grew up doing them or that's what everyone else did. It amazed me (and I'm so thankful for it) when Charles suggested that we research things and make decisions based on what we feel is best for our family (things like circumcision, vaccines, spanking, breastfeeding, etc.).
Does that help?
Hey Kelly!! Wow your little girl looks a lot like Aaron, I think. What do you think?
I hope you are doing really well. And, guess what, I actually updated our blog. Isn't that hard to believe!?
Keely,
Yes, that helps. Thanks for answering! I definitely agree that it's wise to re-think the way you do things (and not just do them b/c they're part of our assumptions!). That would be a mess, for sure. (I think it's part of renewing our minds, like Paul talks about in Romans.) I'd like to hear more about how you think this lines up with your worldview, also (i.e. how does what you think come from the Bible and biblical principles). If you have the time, leave another comment or email me!
I'll post this at your blog, too.
Rosalita,
Hi there! I know - she's a little, feminine Aaron! I'll have to check your blog - can you email me the address again?
Kelly-
I appreciate you asking these questions. It's been helpful and rewarding for us to rethink why we do what we do and make sure it lines up with Scripture, and not just a book that we read and agreed with (which is The Discipline Book, by Dr. Sears).
While scripture doesn't talk about spanking, Proverbs is riddled with verses about discipline and correction. The rod of which it speaks seems to me to be referring to a rod of discipline and correction, not a literal rod which is used to hit a child. Scripture says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of discipline will drive it from him; the rod of discipline will save a child from Sheol. Important stuff.
If our jobs as parents are to lead our children in the way they should go and to preach and model the gospel to them, discpline is an important way to do such.
With Noah, we are trying to set up a model of discipline which involves sorrow over sin, repentance, forgiveness and acceptance. We do time-outs (1 minute for every year of age). After a warning, he has to sit alone for one minute. We explain to him what he did wrong and why he's being punished. After a minute, we ask him to come to us and apologize, remind him to listen and obey, forgive him, hug and kiss him and tell him we love him. He's picking up on it quickly and even says I love you as soon as we make him sit down (clever, no?).
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