Juggling isn't just for clowns

Before my juggling brain forgets, here are the pictures you've all been waiting for. Mom, hopefully this cheers you up a bit (maybe cheers the pneumonia right out of you!). :)

I have a picture of Aaron and Joseph that looks just like this.


Who do you think bought this for Emma?

Joseph LOVES his little sister. We just have to make sure he doesn't bang on her head with his toys.

Emma and sleep: not a combination that comes easily 'round here. But it's beautiful, isn't it?

The one family picture we've managed.


She looks like Joseph here (to me, at least). See entry "Seven Weeks" in the Archives, under September 2006.

So, my son is simply adorable. Too bad this pjs are too small now!

This is the "So you want to marry my daughter?" look.

Emma loves sticking out her tongue. And lately, she does it when she smiles. :)

My children love their Daddy.

The All Terrain Wagon. Joseph's Christmas present from Meme and Papa. He couldn't get enough of it. And I smile to think about all the adventures he'll have with it years to come.

If you don't already know, I have a hard time letting Joseph get messy at meal-times. He doesn't feed himself, the mouth gets wiped after nearly every bite, and most crumbs and falling pieces get picked up. This has seriously been neglected the last 6 weeks: the floor is a mess, his shirt (I hate to admit!) sometimes becomes a napkin, and all of a sudden many foods are now finger-foods. Here's a picture from dinner last night: spaghetti.

Emma will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. I wish I could remember all the cute little updates I want to write down, like I did with Joseph. But you'll notice in the archives that Joseph was sleeping 12 hours by this time in his life; Emma, on the other hand, sleeps maybe 4, and that's with lots of crying toboot. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because in hindsight I'd wished that Joseph hadn't slept so much as a tiny baby. But in my life the pendulum always swings in the opposite direction, and so that's Emma. My sweet Emma. :)

I'm sleep deprived and a tad unstable. When you combine that with the fact that Aaron is also, we've got a household on the brink. God is good, though, even now! We still love our children, and we spend our free time making up the ways we see "improvement" (to keep us going, you know). So, I don't remember off the top of my foggy head all the wonderful, amazing things Emma is doing. But I'll try to tell you about a few:

-She smiles! Really and truly. She smiles these delightful, bright, huge smiles. She is going to be an all-or-nothing person, I believe. I'll say she's passionate. Because when my little girl is upset, the world stops spinning; but when I've fed her, and she has that 15 minute span of time when she's content, she's all smiles. Even when she's not smiling, she looks amused and happy. God's world is full of mystery and fun and delight, and she sees it - those 15 minutes, at least.

-I think she's close to 11 pounds. I don't know. We'll weigh her at the McIntyre's tonight. I've had more nursing issues than I had with Joseph (still do), but her weight isn't a worry to me. I guess because I've already gone through it? She's already filling out her 0-3 months clothing, so soon it'll be time to bump up!

-Typical ("typical"! haha!) day with Emma: Wake up in the morning anywhere from 6-8 am. Eat 5-7 minutes. Get diaper change, new clothes, be happy. Maybe swing if brother needs to eat breakfast. Eat another 5-7 minutes on other side. Start getting fussy, cry, cry, cry. I'm sooooooooo tired. Mama helps me get to sleep, but I just can't sleep. Cry, cry, cry. I'm asleep. I sleep really well once I get to sleep. So, I usually sleep until 10 or 12. Repeat above. Then I wake up around 2-4. Repeat above. Wake up around 6 or 7. Then comes that dark time. Night time. I hate it. Sometimes I'll sleep in the evening until 9 or 10, but most times I won't. I just can't seem to get comfortable. And then I start crying and crying. Or fussing and fussing. If Daddy has me I'll calm down because I love the way he holds me and the way he smells. If Mama has me I get mad because she smells like milk. I'm not hungry, but it still makes me mad. It's an irrational frustration, I know. Maybe I'll wind down around midnight, but this week I can't get to sleep! I stayed up until 4:00 last Saturday night, and last night until 2:30. I might sleep 4 hours (Mama and Daddy love that!); I even slept 6 hours two times! I'm trying really hard to sleep more for Mama and Daddy because I know they like to do that.

And in other family news:

-The chickens are no more. With winter hitting and it getting dark so early, Aaron gets home and has to work outside in the dark every evening. Add to that the fact that winter means wet and our yard drains poorly, and you get a big disgusting chicken mess that never goes away. And since Emma has come, she has required so much more of our attention (and sleep time). All in all, it was time to let them go. We took them to a new home on Sunday, where I'm sure they'll be happy. I can buy my eggs from this lady for $3 a dozen. It seems like so much money when we just had to go outside and get them ourselves! But, considering that we were paying $10/month in feed and the inconvenience factor, it probably evens out.

-Joseph and I are about to conflict in a big way. Emma coming has taken a big toll on him. It's hard not having Mama at his beck and call like he was used to. I think he even may be wondering if he took for granted me being there. He is constantly asking to be "up" or "bup" with me, and is constantly acting out and testing how diligent I'll be with my standards of him. Well, the answer is - not very. I don't stop nursing to carry out a "no"; I don't get off the couch when he smiles and touches something I just told him not to; I don't go police him when he's whining and screaming at me from the playpen. But, just as sadly, I don't get to hold him as much as I did, or talk to him, or smile at him. So, I'm trying to make time for both.

The conflict comes with the whining. It's worse than all those times I blogged about him hitting a whiny spell that needed taken care of. This is Bad. The Worst. Terrible. It's likely it only feels this bad because I'm sleep-deprived and physically exhausted. But still. So, I'm thinking about how to handle this with a newborn. At least time is on my side: eventually Emma will calm down and get into her own rhythm, which will help the situation all around.

-Joseph is also amazing. If he's gotten worse at testing me, he's gotten better at loving me. He pats me on the back, lets me snuggle with him, smiles more at me, laughs with me, and shares jokes with me. He is forever looking out the windows at the tree debris and saying "Uh oh! Tree fall down!". Hilarious! His first real phrase is "tree fall down"! He is going to be a sensitive guy and a helping guy - sound like anyone around here? ;) He will pick up blankets and put them on Emma, or come and give me a hug, or pat Emma on the head, or give her a kiss, or take a diaper to the trash can for me. This is all mixed in with the extreme whining and testing, so it's often hard for me to appreciate all the wonderful things happening in his heart, but they are. Because God is faithful and has said that the promises given to me and to Aaron are for Joseph, too, and for Emma. And we can trust that His desire is to conform Joseph to the glorious image of His Son.

That's all for now. I'm sure there's something else I need to be doing... Signing off for now. :)